I missed Howard Jones and Midge Ure/Long Island Doctor Guy (*Trigger Warning)

Denise and I had tickets to see Midge Ure opening for Howard Jones last night at the Patchogue Theater last night. (We're also supposed to see both of them on the '80s Cruise next March). Unfortunately, due to health issues and other considerations, I decided it was wiser for me to stay home. Especially because my understanding was that Midge Ure would be unable to play due to COVID.

Now I like Howard Jones, but I've seen him six times over the years, going back to what was one of my favorite concerts ever, M+M (aka Martha and the Muffins), Howard Jones (playing solo with only a mime to support him) and Eurythmics at the Forest Hills Tennis Stadium in 1984. But I only ever saw Midge Ure once, solo acoustic at the new (but already old now) My Father's Place in Roslyn in September of 2019. And I've always loved Ultravox (who I never saw live at all).

Anyway, health stuff has had me feeling pretty weak lately (more on that in a bit), so I figured I'd hold off until the last minute on deciding whether to go to this show. I learned last week that Midge has been off the tour for a little, due to having COVID, and that Howard has been covering by playing a short solo acoustic set prior to his regular set. At first, I heard that Midge would be back and playing at the show they had scheduled in New Jersey on Saturday night, July 16.

To be totally honest, I went with Denise to a doctor's appointment on Friday afternoon, and at that point, I pretty much decided I probably wouldn't go to the show. On top of everything else, in my less-than-100% current state, I decided that even if I was physically up for it somehow, it would be reckless to go to the show and risk catching COVID in my current weakened state. But I still held a little place open in my heart that said "maybe". Then, on Saturday night, we got the word from some of Denise's friends who went to that Jersey show that Midge hadn't played, and that it looked like he wouldn't be rejoining the tour until Tuesday. 

Oh well. I figured it was probably for the best. (And I still believe that.) But I definitely had a tinge of regret when Denise texted me from the show Sunday night that Midge had played after all, and that he'd been great. And he'd even had a keyboard player playing with him, which made it easier for him to play almost all Ultravox material in his 10-song set. (He closed, appropriately, with "Dancing With Tears in My Eyes").

I texted her back "Nice!" followed immediately by, "The bastard."

But you can you do? Because I learned today that it's unlikely I'm going to catch him on that '80s Cruise next year, either.

This year's two cruises were great, but they took a lot out of me. The trip to Florida and back for the 2022 '80s Cruise in March was a really strenuous one, and we had lots of extra stress because of Denise's back problems. It took me weeks to recover and start feeling like myself afterwards.

Then, even before the Celebrity Summit Cruise in May, I wasn't feeling great. I put it down to blood sugar issues, and really concentrated on eating well for the first few days of the cruise. Sure enough, I did feel significantly better for most of the rest of voyage.

But as soon as I got home, something wasn't right with my stomach and my digestion. At first, I thought it was a diverticulitis issue. (I have history of that). I did what I always do in that situation, and increased my fluid intake like crazy to wash whatever might have been stuck in there away. But this time, it didn't work.

I went to see my doctor, who sent me for an Ultrasound and an X-Ray, and the Ultrasound showed a cyst on my liver. She referred me to my gastroenterologist, who sent me for a CT-Scan and scheduled me for a few other tests. That didn't show much more about the thing on my liver. However, it did show a nodule on one of my lungs and fluid on both lungs (which is what had me hospitalized last summer). Swell. So they referred me back to my pulmonologist.

Next up was another CT-Scan of my lungs requested by my pulmonologist. This didn't show anymore about my lungs. Unfortunately, it did find a mass in the lining of my stomach. At this point, I started to realize I was screwed. (Especially given that this was exactly the sort of the course my mother had followed before passing away in 1999.)

I was referred to a surgeon to schedule a biopsy. He respected my wishes to try to keep me out of the hospital. So this led to two weeks of jumping through the hoops of getting three different medical clearances and doing all of the necessary pre-testing at the hospital to do the procedure on an outpatient basis. He did the biopsy on Thursday, July 7, and was immediately able to tell me that although they needed a few days for the pathologist to a complete analysis of the sample he took, a quick test had definitely showed the presence of cancer.

I saw an oncologist the next day, and a PT-Scan, the biopsy and some bloodwork eventually led to the conclusion that what I've got is a Stage 4 cancer that has already spread through my body to such a point that whatever treatment (likely some form of chemotherapy) they devise, we're really only talking about managing the disease rather than curing it. And although he couldn't really give me a timeframe, because they can't really tell the point of origin (since it's already so widespread), it's sounding to me like we're talking months and not years.

As I was writing this, I got a call from Sloan-Kettering in Commack, where I'll be going next week for an independent analysis and a second opinion. But truth is, it's not looking good.

So Midge and Howard last night might have been my last shot at seeing one more concert, and it sounded like it was a good one. But again, if I'm honest with myself, I don't think I'd have felt good enough to enjoy it. 

What that means for this blog is that I don't think I'm likely to get that next My Favorite Artist article about Rush written - I like to listen to a an artist's full discography and some of their solo offshoots before writing one of those. (And lately, it's been about six or seven months to do that for each artist.) But maybe I'll do an abbreviated write-up of Rush and the other artists on my list if I get the chance. Let me mull it over for a bit.

The other thing it means here is that I might be posting my 2022 Best Of lists a little early this year. I've done a lot of listening so far, and it would be a shame to see it go to waste.

Hopefully, this entry hasn't been too depressing for you, dear reader. I'm not depressed myself - I've had a wonderful life full of music and laughter and love. And miracles have been known to happen, so who knows? But if I leave off suddenly at some point, I wanted you to understand why.

Not sure what I'll post next here, but I think I'll be thinking about those abbreviated My Favorite Artist write-ups and see what I can do.  

 

Favorite Artists, Part 15: About Fleetwood Mac

"Whoa, wait a minute, I'm confused," you're thinking. "We had already worked our way through the '70s and into the '80s with this series. Why are we backtracking?"

That's a good question, and it has a simple answer. The truth is, while Fleetwood Mac started in the '60s and hit their full stride in the '70s with the beginning of the Buckingham-Nicks era, it wasn't until the 1980's that it really hit me that they were, in fact, one of My Favorite Artists. As much as I loved the self-titled LP (1975) and especially Rumours (1977), it took the release of the Mirage album, and particularly the song "Gypsy", in 1982, to cement Mac's place in my pantheon of favorites.

Fleetwood Mac has a weird history. They began their days as a British blues band, founded by guitarist Peter Green. Green left the acclaimed group John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers to form his own band. When he left, he took drummer Mick Fleetwood with him, and tried to entice their bass player, John McVie, to come along as well, by naming the new band Fleetwood Mac. They added guitarist Jeremy Spencer, and a few weeks later, McVie did move over to Fleetwood Mac. 

Eventually, starting with their second LP, they added a a keyboard player, Christine Perfect (who later married McVie, but wouldn't become an official member of the band until their fifth LP, 1971's Future Games). 

Green, unfortunately, had a mental breakdown, partially fueled by a lot of LSD. Spencer ran off and joined a religious cult, and was replaced with guitarist Danny Kirwan. Kirwan lasted for awhile, and at some point, was joined on guitar by Bob Welch. When Kirwan left after something of an alcohol-fueled mental breakdown (are you seeing a pattern here?), he was replaced by Bob Weston. 

I was aware of Fleetwood Mac from early on in their career. Probably the first recording of theirs I ever heard was the non-album single "Oh Well." (The first song would have been Peter Green's "Black Magic Woman", but of course what I heard was the much more famous Santana version. I wasn't aware that it was originally a Fleetwood Mac song until decades later.) But I was never a big blues guy, so I didn't pay FM a whole lot of attention.

I eventually went back and picked up all of those early Fleetwood Mac albums. But while there was some good stuff here and there, I can't say I ever rated any of their pre-1975 albums more than a 2.5 out of 5.

By the early-to-mid 70's, they had morphed from being a blues band into more of a pop rock band, and you would have thought that the songwriting contributions of Christine McVie and Bob Welch would have made them a reasonably strong one. But Welch did his best work as a solo artist (especially on his 1977 LP French Kiss), and McVie didn't really hit her stride until the next rendition of the band.

After the recording of the unsuccessful 1974 album Heroes Are Hard to Find, the band began to suspect that Welch was going to leave, and started casting about to replace him. (Weston had already left an album earlier after starting a secret affair with Fleetwood's wife Jenny - which began another dysfunctional band pattern for Fleetwood Mac.) They became aware of Lindsey Buckingham after hearing the Buckingham Nicks LP, and asked him if he was interested in joining. Buckingham told them he would, but he and his musical/romantic partner Stevie nicks were a package deal. Fleetwood and the McVie's probably figured, "Fine. We'll stick her in the corner of the stage with a tambourine. How much harm can she do?" and agreed. And thus, the classic lineup of Fleetwood Mac.

The new lineup came out firing on all cylinders with their self-titled 1975 album, which was their first to hit (or come anywhere near, for that matter) # 1 on the US charts. 

I was aware of this album right away, although for some weird reason, I didn't buy a copy until years later. But "Rhiannon" hit me immediately, and the presence of Nicks and Buckingham inspired Christine to take her game to a whole new level, with songs like "Say You Love Me" and "Over My Head". And somewhere along the way, I became of aware of "Landslide". These days, if I had to choose the greatest and most most beautiful song of all time, I think "Landslide" would be my choice.

Some thoughts about this lineup. I made a (partially) facetious comment one time, calling Lindsey Buckingham the third best songwriter in the band. I actually believe that, but it's not as insulting as it sounds. Yes, I know that he was the guy who organized and arranged everything, and that (especially with Stevie) he helped the others with their songs.

But let's face it, Stevie's songs in this era, especially the ones she wrote for FM, but also those in her solo career, were just ridiculous. "Rhiannon", "Landslide", "Dreams", "Gold Dust Woman", "Sara", "Sisters of the Moon", "Edge of Seventeen", "Gypsy" - this was an insanely good output. And clearly, Stevie has had the most successful solo career of any of the members of the band.

As for Christine, as I said earlier, she really hit her stride during this period, with contributions like "Say You Love Me", "You Make Lovin' Fun", "Songbird" and "Little Lies".

In contrast, for me, with the exception of "The Chain", which is a great song (and although it's credited to the whole band, my guess is Lindsey was the biggest contributor), I feel like a lot of Lindsey's songs enhanced the albums, but wouldn't have carried them by themselves. (I will admit to a special love for his solo track "Holiday Road" from the the Vacation movies, though.)

Rumours was released in 1977, and of course, was legendary. It was the first Fleetwood Mac album I ever bought (initially on the strength of "Dreams"), and I played it to death. It's one of those albums where practically every track is a winner. (In retrospect, that's also true of the self-titled album, and it might very well be just as good an LP. As often happens in music, though, Fleetwood Mac let the world know that this new lineup for the band was a great one, and set the stage for Rumours to be the massive multi-platinum hit that it was.)

Meanwhile, the turmoil going on within the band when they were making Rumours is also legendary. John and Christine were basically broken up (and Christine was sleeping with the band's lighting director), Lindsey and Stevie were in process of breaking up, Mick was going through a divorce, and at one point, disastrously enough, Stevie and Mick even had an affair with one another.

I remember seeing a concert clip of a show on the Rumours tour where the band was playing "The Chain", and Stevie and Lindsey were just barking the chorus into one another's faces like the musical equivalent of a hatefuck. It was intense, but totally riveting - you couldn't look away from it.

For me, this two-album streak was flat out the highlight of Fleetwood Mac's career. There are some who hold that Tusk is their (or Lindsey Buckingham's, at least) masterpiece, but I've never been able to see it. I liked the two Stevie songs I named earlier ("Sara" and "Sisters of the Moon"), and I sort of liked the title track, weird as it was, but a lot of the rest of it just sort of bounced off of me.

They released Mirage in 1982. I don't really feel this was a great album, but "Gypsy" was certainly a great song, and Christine's "Hold Me" was pretty strong too. And it was around this point where Mac crossed the threshold into my list of My Favorite Artists.

It was another five years before they released Tango in the Night, which was the last LP with all five members of the classic lineup on it. They added a lot more to their legacy with this album, which featured classics such as Christine's "Little Lie's" and "Everywhere", Lindsey's "Big Love", Stevie's "Seven Wonders".

Of their last three studio albums, Behind the Mask (1990) featured Stevie and Christine (but no Lindsey), Time (1995, their least successful LP) had Christine, but neither Lindsey nor Stevie, and Say You Will (2003) featured Stevie and Lindsey (with just a few sparse musical contributions, but no songs, from Christine). They also released a 4-song EP, appropriately entitled Extended Play in 2013, which again had contributions from Lindsey and Stevie, but none from Christine. Mick and John, of course, played on all of these, making them the only two band members to play on every album in the entire Fleetwood Mac discography. There were some decent songs scattered among these offerings, but I think it would be fair to say nothing on par with their best material from Fleetwood Mac through Tango in the Night.

If you've been following this Favorite Artists series, I think it's pretty obvious why Fleetwood Mac eventually made my top bands list. It's all about the hooks. You had a great songwriter in Stevie Nicks, and two very good songwriters in Christine McVie and Lindsey Buckingham. All three were respectable vocalists, (although yes, I thought it was funny when South Park had the American GI's in Iraq getting Stevie mixed up with a goat). The band was certainly always instrumentally proficient. And while my interest in Fleetwood Mac was primarily in the classic lineup, I respect their blues history, and the fact that they were actually the first band to record Peter Green's "Black Magic Woman" and Bob Welch's "Sentimental Lady."

I've seen Fleetwood Mac live in concert twice, both times in Madison Square Garden. The first was in 2009, on a tour where the band wasn't accompanied by Christine McVie, and the second in 2019, on a tour where Lindsey Buckingham had been replace by Neil Finn of Crowded House and Mike Campbell from Tom Petty's band. So obviously, I never got to see the full classic lineup together, and both times, it would be fair to say that the band was past its prime. Nevertheless, I treasure the fact that I got to see them live in whatever form I did, and that over the course of the two shows, I got to see all five members of the classic lineup, even if it was never all of them at the same time.

I think that's all I have to say right now about Fleetwood Mac.

The next article in this series is scheduled to be about yet another band that started in the 1970's but didn't make the My Favorite Artists until a decade later: Rush.

Unfortunately, as some of you aware, I have something of a serious health scare going on now, and while I hope to live long enough to write that for you (and for me), it's a little iffy right now. (Truth be told, I had to really buckle down over these last few weeks to make sure I got this one written and posted.)

So let's hope I get that Rush write-up done someday. But if I don't, it's been fun writing these first fifteen articles, as well as the rest of the reviews, etc., on this blog.

Ciao! (For now?)

 

 

Long Island Musical Theater 2022/2023

Now that life seems to be getting back to some form of normal post-COVID, the Island's concert venues and musical theaters have started reopening. I held off for a little on publishing this to give the last few theaters a chance to post their schedules for the upcoming season, and I think we've got most of them (the main exceptions being the Argyle Theater in Babylon and the Smithtown Performing Arts Center in Smithtown). Unfortunately, the pandemic caused the closing of The Broadhollow Theaters in East Islip and Elmont, although Studio Theatres has taken over the location in East Islip (and also has a new non-musical theater season in Lindenhurst). Some of the theaters have shorter schedules than in previous years, but at least they're back in action. So here goes.

For the three Actor's Equity Theaters:

The Gateway Playhouse, Bellport: (Note: As usual, they split their shows between the Gateway Playhouse in Bellport and the Patchogue Theatre in Patchogue. See below.)

Head Over Heels - June 8-June 26, 2022 (Bellport)

The Little Mermaid - July 15-August 7, 2022 (Bellport)

The Cher Show - August 26 - September 11, 2022 (Patchogue)

A Christmas Carol: The Musical - December 16-December 28, 2022 (Patchogue)

The Wedding Singer - January 27-February 26, 2023 (Bellport)

Clue - March 17-April 16, 2023 (Bellport)

The John Engemann Theater, Northport: (Note: The first two shows listed below are technically part of their 2021-2022 Season*.)

Kinky Boots* - May 19-July 3, 2022

On Your Feet!* - July 14-August 28, 2022

Mystic Pizza - September 15-October 30, 2022

A Christmas Story - November 17, 2022-January 1, 2023

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - January 19-March 5, 2023

The Scarlet Pimpernel - March 16-April 30, 2023

The Sound of Music - May 18-July 3, 2023

Escape to Margaritaville - July 13-August 27, 2023

The Argyle Theater, Babylon: (Note: These three shows are the end part of the 2021-2022 Season. They haven't announced their 2022-2023 Season yet.*)

BUDDY: The Buddy Holly Story* - May 19-June 26, 2022

Footloose* - July 14-August 28, 2022

An American in Paris* - September 15-October 23, 2022

For the Regional Theaters:

Noel S. Ruiz Playhouse at the CM Performing Arts Center, Oakdale:

Bye Bye Birdie - August 6-August 20, 2022

Cabaret - September 17-October 1, 2022

Matilda: The Musical - October 15-November 5, 2022

The Wizard of Oz - November 19- December 18, 2022

Smithtown Center for the Performing Arts, Smithtown:

Schedule to Come

Cultural Arts Playhouse, Syosset:

School of Rock: The Musical - June 25-July 17, 2022

Newsies - July 23-August 21, 2022

Studio Theatre's Bayway Arts Center, East Islip: (Note*: Lost in Yonkers is not a musical.)

Something Rotten - July 8-July 24, 2022

Lost in Yonkers* - August 5-August 21, 2022

Avenue Q - September 9-September 26, 2022

The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940 - October 7-October 23, 2022

The Addams Family - November 4-November 20, 2022

Theater Three, Port Jefferson: (Note: The first production listed below is technically a part of the 2021-2022 Season*.)

Mama Mia!* - May 21-June 25, 2022

Guys & Dolls - September 17-October 22, 2022

Something Rotten - May 20-June 24, 2023

Merrick Theater and Center for the Arts, Merrick:

Matilda - September 9-September 25, 2022

Right now, an ongoing health issue makes me hesitant to buy any tickets to upcoming shows. But I think the one I'm most tempted by and hope to catch is Engemann Theater's production of The Scarlet Pimpernel. I love the cast album for that one, and it's rarely performed. And if I'm feeling better by then, I might check out Theater Three in Port Jefferson for the first time. I'm always down to see Guys & Dolls.

I'll try to update this list as the theaters update their schedules. But I've got to say, it's great to see musical theater returning to Long Island.

Song of the Day Postscript

So the last time I mentioned Sputnik Music's monthly Song of the Day list was in early April, when I left the list after some (idiot) fine-but-misguided User awarded a 1 out of 5 score to Pink Floyd's "Welcome to the Machine." For me, it was like the time Married With Children's Al Bundy had a mental breakdown at his all night Shoe-a-Thon after he accidentally looked up while trying to sell women's shoes and saw underwear that said "Saturday". Only today was Wednesday! In his immortal words, "Next thing I knew, I was insane!"

What I didn't tell you, though, was ironically enough, after I left, my rec for the month of April came in first and won the month. (If you recall, the theme was "Songs That You Hate That You Think Your Fellow Users Will Love".) I won the month with the revered (but kind of crappy) "Let's Go Crazy" by the very-revered but completely ridiculous artist formerly known as Squiggle (aka Prince). It was only the second time my rec had ever scored highest in SOTD, the first being during one of the first month's I participated when I won with My Favorite's "Burning Hearts".

I had no intention of participating again anytime soon, but in May, a friend of mine was hosting it and asked me if I would contribute a rec (even though I was no longer participating in rating the songs). The theme for May was "Live Recordings", and I went with a classic, Neil Young's "Sugar Mountain". (I'm pretty sure he never actually made a studio recording of that one.)

For a good part of the month, it looked like I was going to win for the second month in a row. (And I won't lie, I would have loved that.) Unfortunately, the next couple of ratings knocked my score down significantly. When the month ended, my score was no longer the highest. And sadly, even if I had ended up with the highest rated song, I don't know if I technically could have claimed the win, because somewhere near the end of the month, the whole SOTD just petered out and died.

What I mean by that is it just never ended. It was left incomplete. My friend got busy elsewhere, so there were only 29 songs nominated for a 31-day month. And at the end of it, the handful of Users who were still participating decided that since the participation had gone down so much, it might be a good time to put the whole thing on hiatus.

So for now, Song of the Day is like Snow White waiting for her prince (or her squiggle) to come. It's not exactly dead, but it's in a coma until someone revives it. So for those of you who enjoyed the feature, and my writings (and rantings) about it, sorry about that.

(Singing: "After midnight, we gonna sell a lot of shooooeeees!")

Long Island Cruise Guy? Part 4

I just wanted to do one more entry in this series to talk about some of the odds and ends from my recent Celebrity Cruise that I left out of the first three parts.

1. At the Movies

I'd like to add one big thing that I forgot about the Celebrity Summit vs. Royal Caribbean's Mariner of the Seas comparison that goes in Mariner's favor (and another small advantage for the Summit).

One tiny, but much appreciated thing, in the Summit's favor was the availability of Truvia on the ship. I tend to use artificial sweeteners in coffee, iced tea, etc., and Truvia is the one I use at home. It seems to me to be healthier than both Sweet & Low or Splenda, and it certainly tastes better than Sweet & Low, especially in iced tea. Truvia is rarely available in restaurants, etc., so I appreciated its presence on the Summit.

But here's one big  thing in the Mariner's favor. I didn't watch any movies on the big screen on Mariner, partially because we were too busy, and partially because in keeping with the 80's Cruise theme, it was screening all 1980's films that I've seen a million times that week. But presumably on a typical cruise, Mariner shows more recent films, and according to the deck plans, their big screen is right out on the pool deck (as it is on most cruise ships).

But the Summit is a pretty old ship, so when they decided to add a big screen, they took a novel approach - they put it up on the very top deck, Deck 12.

Now when I started to get the Summit's entertainment itinerary in dribs and drabs on their app, one of the things I was excited about was that they were planning to show the most recent Spider-Man movie, Spider-Man: No Way Home. I didn't catch it in the theaters, and I have no idea when or if it will show up for free on a home streaming channel (or even which channel it might pop up on). So I definitely planned to catch it while I was on the ship.

Unfortunately, one of the few annoying things on the Summit was that the schedule on the app wasn't always accurate. The app claimed that the film was going to be showing on the big screen on Day 5 (I think) at like 5PM. However, when we got the paper schedule for that day, it claimed that the big screen was actually going to be showing Mamma Mia! at that time instead. Now Mamma Mia! is from frigging 2008 - it's more than 10 years old. So why some genius would decide to replace the new Spider-Man film with Mamma Mia! is beyond me.

I had a feeling that the paper schedule was probably the more recent (and more accurate) one. Nevertheless, I figured that I'd head up there on Day 5, see for sure which of the two films was playing, and if nothing else, I'd at least scope out what the situation was on the movie deck. So a little before 5PM, I headed up there.

There was no way to get up there by the internal elevators, so instead, I went up to Deck 11. I had my cane with me, and a canvas bag that had my sunglasses, my distance glasses and a baseball cap in it (in case I was stuck out in the sun).

I walked around on the port side, and discovered to my chagrin a daunting outdoor metal staircase up to Deck 12, one of those where the stairs aren't even solid - you can see through the back of each step. Not great if you're afraid of heights, like I am. There was also a sign that said "Elevator up to Deck 12 is on the starboard side of the ship." Crap. So I had to either hobble around to the other side of the ship, or I sort of had to be Spider-Man and climb up those stairs to get up there.

I decided that instead of ambling over to other side, I'd try the staircase. This turned out not to be fun, especially because I was carrying both my cane and my canvas bag. But I took it slow, and terrifying as it was, eventually I made it up there.

I wandered around the aft of the ship, and discovered that the chairs were all those kind of outdoor fabric ones some people have for lawn furniture. They were all a bit damp, as it had rained on and off for the whole cruise. And all the ones out of the sun were already taken.

I found the least damp seat I could that had at least a little shade and sat down. Needless to say, a few minutes later, the opening credits for Mamma Mia! started rolling. 

Shit!

"Well, at least I can take the elevator going back down," I told myself. I gimped my way around to the starboard side of the ship and found the "elevator". It was actually a glorified wheelchair lift. It was nothing but an exposed outdoor platform that had a rail around it that was about up to my waist. I took one look at it and decided there was no way. God forbid the stupid thing stalled and I'd be stuck halfway between Decks 12 and 11 in an exposed situation that would totally set off my acrophobia. (And it didn't look all that reliable.)

So I took my canvas bag and cane in my left hand and grabbed the staircase railing in a death grip in with my right one, and slowly, terrifyingly made my way back down the exposed metal staircase. (I almost kissed Deck 11 when I finally got down there.)

Two days later, the paper schedule showed that Spider-Man: No Way Home was playing that night at 5:30. Thanks for nothing, Celebrity. I passed.

Mariner of the Seas has it all over the Celebrity Summit when it comes to their big outdoor movie screen.

2. Does Bermuda Come Up Short(s)?

I'll tell you truth, originally I totally intended to trash Bermuda in this blog. They were the ones who pushed the special health regulations that eventually caused Celebrity to rearrange the order of their itinerary, and ultimately caused us to miss the port of Newport, Rhode Island entirely. And since I'd sailed to Bermuda before, and was most looking forward to the Charleston and Newport ports, I was not amused. (A lot of people were also a little ticked that we all had to shell out an extra 40 bucks for the privilege of Bermuda processing the extra health questionnaire that none of us wanted to do in the first place. F U, Bermuda.)

I can also say that the one lunkhead I experienced all cruise was the clown who was working the terminal in Bermuda. We were told by the ship we'd have to wear masks in the Bermuda terminal, and possibly outdoors on land as well. However, Denise and I had a night excursion the first night we got there, so when we went through the terminal (which was about ten steps wide), it was a ghost town. And the few people who were around weren't wearing masks. So we didn't either.

However, after the excursion was over, when we were about to go back through the terminal, there was a guy there to take our I.D. And as I was fumbling with my wallet to find mine, he told me somewhat rudely that I needed to put my mask on. Really, pal? For the privilege of walking ten steps through an empty terminal? Asshole.

The saving grace, however, was the two women who actually worked our excursion, the late night glass bottom boat into the Bermuda Triangle, Captain Zoey and her helper, Triana.

When Denise and I were in Bermuda 20 years ago on a Royal Caribbean ship, we'd taken essentially the same excursion. And part of the fun is going out into the Bermuda Triangle at night and hearing the stories of all the ships that had disappeared there. Unfortunately, that time, after the captain told like one scary story, some idiot woman who apparently hadn't read the excursion description, piped in and said, "Excuse me, but you're scaring my children. Can you not tell these stories, please?"

What?!!!! Why did you bring children on an excursion like this? So of course, that was all we got in the way of stories about ship disappearances.

Anyway, Captain Zoey and Triana were very nice and entertaining. And as I'm quite a bit less spry than I was twenty years ago, I appreciated their help in getting from the top of the boat to the bottom while we were still moving. And while they told us the story of the ship disappearances, they also spoke with obvious pride about their lives in Bermuda (both had been born there), and what it was like there. 

So Bermuda, I'm letting you off easy, thanks solely to Captain Zoey and Triana. Next time, you won't be so lucky!

3. Charleston, SC and the Cancellation of our Plantation Excursion.

As I mentioned in an earlier entry, the change in the schedule totally screwed up our scheduled excursions in Charleston. We were supposed to do an excursion to a plantation on one day, and a city tour the next. Unfortunately, after the change in itinerary, we eventually wound up with two excursions that were booked at overlapping times. There was also conflicting information on the plantation excursion. The description Denise had found listed it as having a "mild" activity level, but when we got on the ship, the paper description of tour listed the activity level as "moderate". 

Now even under normal circumstances, I sometimes find even the ones they list as "mild" a little challenging. I didn't feel up to a "moderate" one. In fact, the truth was that for the first half of this cruise, I often felt pretty lousy physically. I think my blood sugar was all out of whack, and the stress of doing all the things necessary to prepare for the cruise didn't help. I also had a variety of mild ailments going on, including an ear that stuffed up from the moment we got on the ship, some arthritis issues, etc. So I didn't want to push myself too hard.

When we went to the excursion desk, they asked if we wanted to do both excursions on the same day, but I had to tell them no. There was no way I felt I was up for it. So we cancelled the plantation excursion, which I felt bad about, because it was the one that Denise really wanted to do. I told her it was OK with me if she went on that one and left me to do the bus tour, but she decided against it.

As it turned out, thanks to the later change in itinerary (where we lost Newport but were given an extra day in Charleston), it could have worked out if we'd have moved the city tour to the third day in Charleston and rebooked the plantation excursion for the second one. (The plantation one wasn't offered on the third day.) But at that point, I really didn't want to go changing things around again. (Nor did I want to reward Celebrity for all the confusion by buying an extra excursion from them.)

4. Captain Kate vs. Captain Nicklaus

Odds are if you're not a cruise junkie and don't watch all of the cruise vlogs, etc., you've never heard of Captain Kate, aka Kate McCue. But she's the superstar captain for Celebrity Cruise lines. In an industry where most of the cruise ship captains are aging Greek or Italian guys, Captain Kate is a relatively young, photogenic, American woman who was the first American female to be named captain of a large cruise ship. And in today's world, where old white dudes are out of style, as you can imagine, Celebrity has done everything possible to wring the maximum amount of publicity (and the maximum amount of virtue-signaling points) out of Captain Kate. She gets to captain Celebrity's newest ships, and she has essentially become the face of the cruise line. And all of my favorite cruise vloggers sing her praises, name-drop how friendly they are with her, etc. (Don from Don's Family Vacations even made a video last week were he talked about sending her a special package of the kinds of snacks she loves but can't always get when she's at sea.)

Now I'm not trying to poop on Captain Kate's parade. I have no reason to believe that she's anything other than an excellent captain who has worked hard to attain her position.

Nevertheless, I'm sure that all of the (relatively anonymous) male captains of the fleet must hate her guts and want her dead. And one day, at some company function or other, the lights will go out briefly, and when they come back on, they'll find her body has been stabbed, shot and hacked to bits in a total Murder on the Orient Express scenario.

So when the captain of the Celebrity Summit came on the ship's  speaker as I was making my way down from my Spider-Man debacle, and announced that we wouldn't be going to Newport after all because of inclement weather, I was less than pleased. And when our (excellent) cruise director Sarah explained at the show that night that what Captain Nicklaus had meant by "inclement weather" was we'd be sailing through 25-foot high waves, I understood. But what I really wanted to do was track Sarah down, and tell her, "Please give Captain Nicklaus a message for me. Tell him Captain Kate would have gotten us to Rhode Island."

But Denise wouldn't let me.

I think that about wraps it up for my Celebrity Summit cruise summary.

On a sad note (but it's probably for the best) we've worked out that extra cruise we were hoping to slip in in July on the Carnival Magic just isn't going to happen. We have house guests coming that month, and the dates that they'll be here overlap both of the possible cruises we were looking at. So unless something totally unexpected happens, we'll be landlocked until the 80's Cruise next March. Oh well. It was a thought.

Prog Contest 2022: The Final Round - Results

OK, as I guess I've made obvious, for me, this was a brutal contest. My rec, Frogg Cafe's Bateless Edge, was the first one knocked out of tournament. Of the ten first round matches, my pick lost eight of them. And the later rounds weren't any better. 

The two albums vying for the championship, Circus's Movin' and Pekka Pohjola's Visitation, were my 17th and 16th choices respectively out of the 20 albums that started this journey. I voted for the Pekka Pohjola LP. Unsurprisingly, Circus won it all.

It was yet another crazy close contest, ending in a 10-10 vote yesterday. One of the Sputnik Users who had participated in previous tournaments and who voted in this one a couple of times along the way, was invited to give the tiebreaker vote. He voted for Circus.

Final Results: Circus 11 votes, Pekka Pohjola 10 votes.

Thanks to Jethro, who did a fine job taking over for Friday13th as the tournament organizer.

But I need to go cry now. See y'all soon.

Long Island Cruise Guy? Part 3

So let's talk music and entertainment. (Finally!)

As I mentioned, our cruise on the Celebrity Summit was a traditional cruise (as opposed to our 80's Cruise), and as such, it featured traditional cruise ship entertainment. Here is the good, the bad and the ugly. (Well, it never really got ugly, but you know what I mean.)

The following musicians and bands were scattered throughout the ship in the various venues during the day and night. All the ones I saw were at least decent.

1. Anna Korniienko - Solo Guitarist

Anna is a young (20-something) Ukrainian acoustic artist. She had a lovely singing voice, played well, and had a pretty extensive repertoire. (I saw her play four or five sets over the course of the cruise, and she only repeated a few songs.) She mostly played at (or at least I mostly saw her at) the ship's coffee shop, Cafe Al Baco. She was my favorite shipboard entertainer. Her only negative - I asked if she played any Joni Mitchell, and she obviously had no idea who that was. (Oh, these kids today!) I loved her voice and her phrasing, though.

2. Diamond Duo - Instrumental Duo

This act consisted of a young female Ukranian (I believe) violinist and a male Russian (again, I believe) acoustic guitarist. I suspect they're a couple. They played all instrumental classical and pop music. I saw them perform three times at the Cellar Masters venue, the ship's wine bar. They played everything from Sting (if I remember properly) to pieces from Bizet's Carmen. I enjoyed the way she'd suddenly stand and start dancing along when she was playing a piece she was particularly inspired by.

3. Ocean Beat - Dance Band

This was a multinational 4-piece band that played mostly light pop and danceable classics. We generally caught them in the ship's 4th-deck Rendezvous Lounge, which is right next to the place where we entered (and, sadly, exited) the ship. We caught them at least twice, and I wish we'd caught them more.

4. Colby Dean - Solo Guitarist

This was a gentle young singer from Montana who reminded me of one of my co-workers (who is also a musician). He was the other artist who played regularly at Cafe Al Baco. Humorously enough, I spent a good deal of the week chasing an acoustic duo listed on the Celebrity App as The Ways around the ship, never quite catching them, until I realized that Colby was The Ways (or half of them, anyway). It turns out that until the last sailing, he was part of a duo, but he signed a new contract and his partner went home. His repertoire was less extensive than Anna's, mostly because he was just getting used to playing as a solo artist. (He said he'd had to quickly learn an entire album by the Hawaiian artist Jack Johnson in order to have enough material to make it through the cruise.) He was always pleasant and enjoyable, though, and was probably at his best doing material in the vein of James Taylor.

5. Trust Me, Jack! - House Band

This was a British 3-piece that added a female singer (I think from Spain?) I wish I'd seen more of them, but I have to give them an incomplete. The first time was saw them was during a brief set without their singer at the sailaway on Day 1 on the Deck 11 Sky Lounge. And the second time, when we saw them at the Rendezvous Lounge, wasn't a fair test of their abilities. There was an obviously developmentally disabled woman on the ship who seemed to be traveling alone. I saw her a number of times at Cafe Al Bacio, where she would sometimes sing along quietly with either Colby or Anna. However, when she was watching one of the full bands, especially Trust Me, Jack!, she would get so excited that she's sing along in a very loud and off key voice, to the point where if you were sitting anywhere near her (and we were), you really couldn't get the proper effect of the band. I did walk through the lounge on the way to the Men's Room one night when they were doing their British Invasion set, and heard them do an excellent version of Elton John's "Rocket Man". But I don't feel like I ever got to hear them do their thing properly.

There was also supposed to be a "Jazz, Funk and Soul Orchestra" somewhere. But they were only listed on the Celebrity App as playing one set  on Day 4. And I have a feeling they were either a fiction on this cruise (like The Ways), or they were the backing band from the main theater cutting loose one time in another venue. In any event, real or not, I never saw them.

Now let's talk about The Theatre where the ship's headline show played every night. I want to preface this section with two things. The first is that overall, I enjoyed the nightly shows, and I was entirely satisfied with the shipboard entertainment as a whole.

The second is this. Some of you have pointed out that I can be a bit...um...sarcastic at times, and it seems that many of my readers enjoy that. During this cruise, however, I started reading a book recommended to me by my friend Rich Da Drummer (from The Slant) called The Four Agreements.

This is a type of self-help book that speaks of four agreements you should make with yourself to help you live a more fulfilled and happier life. I'm enjoying it so far, but I've only gotten as far as the first agreement, which is this: Be Impeccable With Your Word. This refers not only to being honest with people, but uses the notion of "the word" in a kind of Biblical sense - the things you say (and write) bring things into existence, and you want to be careful to say and write things that create positive things for yourselves and others.

So my struggle in this section will be to give you honest reviews while remaining impeccable in my word. Here we go:

Night One: Gary Lovini - Violinist

This guy totally wasn't what I was expecting. I was picturing a classical violinist in a formal dark suit, and what I got was a Brit in a shiny (possible sequiny) Vegas white shirt. (I forgot to bring my distance glasses to the theatre that night, so I'm not really sure about the sequins.) Nevertheless, I really enjoyed him. He was backed by the ship's band, who occasionally sang along softly to the otherwise all-instrumental set. His show began with a violin version of A-ha's "Take On Me," and included a Star Wars tribute where his bow magically turned into a light saber, and a full tribute to the music of Queen. The theatre was a little empty that night, at least during the first show, but I suspect this was because a lot of our aged fellow passengers were still recovering from the fatigue of the boarding process. (It wasn't actually that bad for this trip, but I know it always takes a lot out of me.)

Night Two: "Life" - a Musical Review

This was the first of two production shows that featured the ship's cast of singers, dancers and acrobats. In all, there were four main singers, about eight dancers, and two acrobats. I didn't recognize much of the music, but I enjoyed the show, which was intended to be a rather positive musical nod to the various steps and phases of life. The singers were all good, the choreography enjoyable, and the acrobats (one male and one female) were amazing. Very good show.

Night Three - A.J. Jamal - Comedian

We didn't catch him for this show, as it was our first night in Bermuda, and we had an excursion into the Bermuda Triangle on a glass-bottomed boat. We heard good things about him, though, and we did see him twice later in the cruise - once as part of a panel for the game Liar's Club, and then again later in the cruise for a special late-night "adult" show in the Theatre towards the end of the cruise. He was funny both times, and not overly raunchy at the adult show.

Night Four - Gen Maldonado - Singer

Gen is a New York-born singer from The Bronx who performed a show that was a tribute to "The Divas" (Tina Turner, Aretha Franklin, Donna Summers, Barbra Streisand, etc.)

A couple of things about her. Number one, she should shoot her photographer, as based on her publicity photo, my question for Denise was "Is this someone who was born a woman or who came to that station later in life?" As soon as she took the stage, it was clear that she was, as Aretha might have said, a "Natural Woman". I think she uses that photo because it was taken when she was a little younger, and she's also gotten a little heavier since then, but she'd really be better off with a more recent picture so her audience better understood who she was and what her act might be like.

Be impeccable in your word, Richard!

No, I wasn't trying to pick on her in any way, but ... Ok, fine.

In any event, she had a very powerful voice, and a really likable personality. I didn't necessarily love her choice of material - I like Tina Turner, but I wouldn't have chosen the particular Tina songs she chose, for example. On the other hand, it could have been worse, as she did choose the one Streisand song I find somewhat tolerable ("The Way We Were"), and she left out most of the diva's that I can't deal with, like Celine Dion, Bette Midler and Cher.

Be impeccable in your word, Richard!

OK, OK. In any event, the audience loved her, and I...liked her.

Night Four - "Reigning Rocks" 

This was a brand new "boutique show" (about thirty minutes long) that the singers and dancers (minus the acrobats) put on up in the Sky Lounge. It was actually one of the highlights of my cruise. The cast entered the room with the four singers dressed as kings and queens, and the dancers dressed as their court. They proceeded to put on an energetic show of mostly (all?) Queen music on the club's dance floor. Especially considering this was the first time they'd performed this show, it was really enjoyable.

Night Five - Intimate Broadway Caberet

This was a great idea in concept. The way our (excellent) Cruise Director Sarah explained it, it's a show that's performed on every Celebrity ship. However, it's different on each ship, as it's a show where the ship's singers choose those Broadway Musical songs that most inspire them.

Like I said, it's a great idea in concept. In practice, however, the problem here is leaving the singers in charge of picking the material. It reminded me of the part in The Producers where Max Bialystock tries to convince Franz Liebkind that the best way to tank Springtime for Hitler is for Liebkind to kill the actors. A horrified Leo Bloom objects to this, saying "You can't kill the actors! Actors are human beings!" Leading Max to respond, "Oh yeah? Did you ever eat with one?" Never leave the singers in charge.

Please, Richard! Be impeccable in your word!

Right. Sorry book.

In any event, the show featured the four main singers of the ship's cast plus two singer/dancers, given free reign to each pick a Broadway song that inspired them.

The first gal chose something from Thoroughly Modern Millie. Really? Ok, fine. This was followed by a rather slight fellow, one of the singer/dancers, who chose a song from the Hugh Jackman vehicle, The Boy from Oz. And I'm looking at this dude, and I'm picturing Hugh Jackman, and something's just not clicking here.

Now to the best of my knowledge, there are (at least three) musicals based on the novel The Wizard of Oz. Two of them, the 1939 movie, later turned into a stage show, and the smash hit Wicked, are great shows. So naturally, the next singer picks something from The Wiz. And it wasn't "Ease on Down the Road".

Richard!

Yeah, yeah. Then the fourth gal steps up, the other singer/dancer, and she picks something from another musical that I don't even think she named (let's just call it The Suck Show), that was once again set in The Roaring Twenties.

Are you people serious?! No one here is inspired by "Defying Gravity"? Andrew Lloyd Webber is right out? Jesus Christ!

Richard!!

At this point, a couple who'd been sitting a few rows in front of us got up and walked out. And as they walked past me, I gave them a smile and a nod. Because if I wasn't there with Denise, I would have been right out of there with them.

Richard! Remember the First Agreement! Be impeccable in your word!

OK. Right. Sorry. I just got a little carried away there.

Now, the next guy, who was probably my favorite singer in the cast, did a little better, but it was kind of a cheat. Because he chose Elton John's "Your Song" from the jukebox musical Moulin Rouge. Cheat or no, I was relieved, though. At least it was something I'd heard of.

And the final singer upped the ante in terms of cheating. Because she did an entire medley from Beautiful: The Carole King Musical. But again, I was just glad to hear something I was familiar with. (And let's face it, King was a great songwriter.)

Finally, for the end of the show, all six singers got together and did a medley that wasn't even a cheat,  from Les Miserables. This was definitely the highlight of the show, and in fact, I wished it went on for a little longer. So the last three songs pulled the show out somewhat. But just barely.

At lunch the next day, one of the couples we were sitting with agreed with my take - it really wasn't fun to sit through so many obscure songs when there are so many great Broadway tunes to choose from. Again, never let the singers choose your show's songs.

Alright, let's just move on, shall we?

Absolutely, book. Let's do that.

Night Six - Uptown Boys

Ho boy. Here's where I really get myself in trouble, especially since these guys are a New York-based act. 

Just remember - Be impeccable in your word, and you'll be alright.

Yeah, sure, whatever. 

This is an act where three guys sing "all the hits" of Billy Joel. I don't know, Billy Joel has a lot of hits. But let's see.

From the minute these guys stepped out onto the stage, doing their version of "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant", I immediately burst out laughing. These were the loungiest Billy Joel's you're ever gonna see.

Richard...

In my head, I immediately named them The Buttmunch Boys, and all I could think about was Butt-head asking, "Do you think these guys sleep in the same bed, Beavis?"

For the love of God, Richard!

The deal was this. You had three marginal Broadway musical guys (the tall guy did say he'd been cast as the lead once, but in a show that only lasted a month). All of them had OK voices, in the sense that they could all at least hold a tune. But none of them had interesting enough voices that they could carry a show on their own, and they all struck me as having the kind of voices you'd mostly put in comical bit parts, like maybe the weird uncle, etc. And not one of the three sounded even remotely like Billy Joel!

Now to their credit, they (or someone) actually came up with a concept where these guys could make a living in show business. You take three marginal talents, group them up together (so they can cover up one another's flaws somewhat), and give them an angle like, "OK, you guys only sing Billy Joel songs." Then you send them out on cruise ships and similar type entertainment venues.

(In fact, you might actually send them out on multiple cruise ships at the same time, because as best I could tell from their website, there are actually about twelve different Buttmunch...um, I mean Uptown Boys. So you can have various different pairings of three of them, maybe even working on three or four ships at the same time. And I'm not sure, but I think the tall guy who was performing on this ship might have been the one who came up with the concept.)

A couple of caveats. Number one, they actually did their best work on Billy's stuff from later albums, especially An Innocent Man: "Tell Her About It," "Uptown Girl" and "The Longest Time" all sounded significantly more credible than did any of Billy's earlier stuff, like "Anthony's Song" or "Only the Good Die Young". But that's not at all my favorite Billy Joel material, and as you might expect, they left out quite a few of his best earlier songs.

And caveat number two: I might just be an asshole, because they got a pretty good reception from most of this (enfeebled and possibly senile) crowd.

I'm really disappointed in you, Richard.

Me too, book. Let's keep going.

Night Seven - "Soundtrack" - A musical review featuring music from films.

The first couple of songs here were kind of obscure, and for one of them, we were back in The Roaring Twenties again. And all I could think of was, "Just how old do these people think we are?"

It got better, though, and it certainly didn't hurt that the dancers and the acrobats were back.

The acrobats kind of stole every show they were in. And I wondered to myself did the rest of the cast realize that? They had to, because the acrobats consistently got the most applause at the end of the night. Because a singer can sing, and if they flub it, what's the worst thing that can happen? An embarrassing note or two. But the girl acrobat was up there around the roof of the theater a couple of times. And if she flubbed it, she, and probably several of the people in the audience below her, were either going to die or they were going to have to be Medivac'd off the ship. Although there was one time when the young African-American singer was singing her heart out at the front of stage, and the male acrobat was rolling around in circles behind her inside his giant hoola-hoop. And all I could think of was she must have a lot of faith in him, because if he screwed up even a little, he was going to clobber her from behind and send her flying into the audience.

You're killing me, Richard. You're just killing me.

In any event, they eventually moved into some more familiar territory, and their best bit was a medley of songs from the various James Bond films. Denise was happy about this too, because one of the ones they did was "A View to a Kill".

Night Eight - Bob Brizendine - Comedian/Magician

This was the last act that actually showed up on the app, so maybe they booked him late. In any event, I spent most of the week referring to him as Billy Branzino, because there was branzino on the menu one night, and I remembered the "BB" initials and that there was a "z" in the last name somewhere.

This was a weird act to book on a cruise ship, because most of what he did was playing-card magic, and some comedy surrounding it. And really, unless you were sitting in the front rows, he could have told us there were naked pictures of Benedict Cumberbatch on the cards and we'd have had to take him at his word. As it happened, this was the one night where we chose to sit in the balcony. But even if we'd have sat where we usually sat, I couldn't have seen those cards on my best day, and it wasn't like they were using any projector equipment to help us out.

In spite of this, I actually liked him. He was very funny, and pretty patient, given that half the audience members he was trying to work with were decrepit and the other half were deliberately giving him a hard time.

Richard...

What? I said I liked him. That was pretty impeccable, wasn't it?

(No answer - just gentle sobbing)

Night 9 - Unique3

This show consisted of three female singers who were supposed to encompass the best of rock, soul and Broadway.

Funny story - on Night Two of our trip, two of these gals wound up eating dinner at the table behind us in the Main Dining Room. And as they're all attractive, and young, and famous (for a cruise ship, anyway) the waiters were just fawning over them, bringing them extra rolls and a special bottle of wine, etc. And the ladies were flirting back some, enjoying the attention and the special perks. And we were sitting close enough that although I wasn't trying to listen in on their conversation, it became clear to me who these gals were - they were originally listed on the app as the headliners for Night Seven, but once old Billy Branzino got booked, they were moved to Night Nine. So when Night Nine actually came along, I figured for sure there was going to be no service in any of the dining rooms, because all of the waiters would be at the show.

Richard, I'm getting tired of this!

Anyway, when these three gals came out, it became immediately apparent that these were no Uptown Boys. All three of these women could sing, especially Angelique, the one girl who hadn't been at dinner with the other two. (I thought it was kind of mean that she was the one minority girl in the group, and the other two had eaten without her, but who knows? Maybe she only got on the ship later in either Bermuda or Charleston.)

Jesus Christ, Richard!

In any event, this was a pretty good show. Lisa, the Broadway gal, did a fine version of "Somewhere" from West Side Story, and Emily held her own nicely, even though she was the newest member of the group. Although I would say that their stage personalities were a little like a Saturday Night Live parody of what a cruise singer might be like.

You f***ing asshole! I've had enough of your bulls***! You're not even f***ing trying to be impeccable, are you?!

I don't think you're supposed to be cursing at me like that, book. Be impeccable with your word.

Oh, f*** you!

As for Angelique, she did some fine Tina Turner, among other things.

Anyway, at one point, the three of them teamed up with a medley from the Carole King Beautiful show, and it was great. (And honestly, nothing against the ship singers, but it was better than their medley from Beautiful.)

So that's my rundown of the music and entertainment on The Celebrity Summit during our cruise. We also attended a few Silent Disco's (where everybody wears headphones that have three different channels of music, so they're dancing, but not necessarily to the same thing.) These were fun, and would you believe it? On this ship, anyway, The Village People are still immensely popular! (And deservedly so, I might add).

I think I might do one more short entry in this series just to bring it all together. But anyway, we're home now, and we're not scheduled to cruise again until next March's 80's Cruise out of Los Angeles.

But is it wrong that we've started talking about whether we can can squeeze in an extra cruise this July? 

Be impeccable in your word, everyone!