Denise and I had tickets to see Midge Ure opening for Howard Jones last night at the Patchogue Theater last night. (We're also supposed to see both of them on the '80s Cruise next March). Unfortunately, due to health issues and other considerations, I decided it was wiser for me to stay home. Especially because my understanding was that Midge Ure would be unable to play due to COVID.
Now I like Howard Jones, but I've seen him six times over the years, going back to what was one of my favorite concerts ever, M+M (aka Martha and the Muffins), Howard Jones (playing solo with only a mime to support him) and Eurythmics at the Forest Hills Tennis Stadium in 1984. But I only ever saw Midge Ure once, solo acoustic at the new (but already old now) My Father's Place in Roslyn in September of 2019. And I've always loved Ultravox (who I never saw live at all).
Anyway, health stuff has had me feeling pretty weak lately (more on that in a bit), so I figured I'd hold off until the last minute on deciding whether to go to this show. I learned last week that Midge has been off the tour for a little, due to having COVID, and that Howard has been covering by playing a short solo acoustic set prior to his regular set. At first, I heard that Midge would be back and playing at the show they had scheduled in New Jersey on Saturday night, July 16.
To be totally honest, I went with Denise to a doctor's appointment on Friday afternoon, and at that point, I pretty much decided I probably wouldn't go to the show. On top of everything else, in my less-than-100% current state, I decided that even if I was physically up for it somehow, it would be reckless to go to the show and risk catching COVID in my current weakened state. But I still held a little place open in my heart that said "maybe". Then, on Saturday night, we got the word from some of Denise's friends who went to that Jersey show that Midge hadn't played, and that it looked like he wouldn't be rejoining the tour until Tuesday.
Oh well. I figured it was probably for the best. (And I still believe that.) But I definitely had a tinge of regret when Denise texted me from the show Sunday night that Midge had played after all, and that he'd been great. And he'd even had a keyboard player playing with him, which made it easier for him to play almost all Ultravox material in his 10-song set. (He closed, appropriately, with "Dancing With Tears in My Eyes").
I texted her back "Nice!" followed immediately by, "The bastard."
But you can you do? Because I learned today that it's unlikely I'm going to catch him on that '80s Cruise next year, either.
This year's two cruises were great, but they took a lot out of me. The trip to Florida and back for the 2022 '80s Cruise in March was a really strenuous one, and we had lots of extra stress because of Denise's back problems. It took me weeks to recover and start feeling like myself afterwards.
Then, even before the Celebrity Summit Cruise in May, I wasn't feeling great. I put it down to blood sugar issues, and really concentrated on eating well for the first few days of the cruise. Sure enough, I did feel significantly better for most of the rest of voyage.
But as soon as I got home, something wasn't right with my stomach and my digestion. At first, I thought it was a diverticulitis issue. (I have history of that). I did what I always do in that situation, and increased my fluid intake like crazy to wash whatever might have been stuck in there away. But this time, it didn't work.
I went to see my doctor, who sent me for an Ultrasound and an X-Ray, and the Ultrasound showed a cyst on my liver. She referred me to my gastroenterologist, who sent me for a CT-Scan and scheduled me for a few other tests. That didn't show much more about the thing on my liver. However, it did show a nodule on one of my lungs and fluid on both lungs (which is what had me hospitalized last summer). Swell. So they referred me back to my pulmonologist.
Next up was another CT-Scan of my lungs requested by my pulmonologist. This didn't show anymore about my lungs. Unfortunately, it did find a mass in the lining of my stomach. At this point, I started to realize I was screwed. (Especially given that this was exactly the sort of the course my mother had followed before passing away in 1999.)
I was referred to a surgeon to schedule a biopsy. He respected my wishes to try to keep me out of the hospital. So this led to two weeks of jumping through the hoops of getting three different medical clearances and doing all of the necessary pre-testing at the hospital to do the procedure on an outpatient basis. He did the biopsy on Thursday, July 7, and was immediately able to tell me that although they needed a few days for the pathologist to a complete analysis of the sample he took, a quick test had definitely showed the presence of cancer.
I saw an oncologist the next day, and a PT-Scan, the biopsy and some bloodwork eventually led to the conclusion that what I've got is a Stage 4 cancer that has already spread through my body to such a point that whatever treatment (likely some form of chemotherapy) they devise, we're really only talking about managing the disease rather than curing it. And although he couldn't really give me a timeframe, because they can't really tell the point of origin (since it's already so widespread), it's sounding to me like we're talking months and not years.
As I was writing this, I got a call from Sloan-Kettering in Commack, where I'll be going next week for an independent analysis and a second opinion. But truth is, it's not looking good.
So Midge and Howard last night might have been my last shot at seeing one more concert, and it sounded like it was a good one. But again, if I'm honest with myself, I don't think I'd have felt good enough to enjoy it.
What that means for this blog is that I don't think I'm likely to get that next My Favorite Artist article about Rush written - I like to listen to a an artist's full discography and some of their solo offshoots before writing one of those. (And lately, it's been about six or seven months to do that for each artist.) But maybe I'll do an abbreviated write-up of Rush and the other artists on my list if I get the chance. Let me mull it over for a bit.
The other thing it means here is that I might be posting my 2022 Best Of lists a little early this year. I've done a lot of listening so far, and it would be a shame to see it go to waste.
Hopefully, this entry hasn't been too depressing for you, dear reader. I'm not depressed myself - I've had a wonderful life full of music and laughter and love. And miracles have been known to happen, so who knows? But if I leave off suddenly at some point, I wanted you to understand why.
Not sure what I'll post next here, but I think I'll be thinking about those abbreviated My Favorite Artist write-ups and see what I can do.
