The 80's Cruise: Day 4

I woke up pretty early today, and my brain turned on right away. We were still at sea, and Denise was still fast asleep. I turned on my laptop and finished my cruise blog for whatever day I had been writing about last night. The room was dark.

When I finished the blog write-up, I knew what I had to do. I've learned that whenever I feel overwhelmed by my work (and it's been happening more and more often lately), the best thing to do is walk away from it for a night, then turn off my brain (and my feelings) and just start digging away at it the next day. So that's what I did.

We pulled into beautiful St. Thomas at about noon, but I had no plans of getting off the ship today. Denise was up by then, and I had gotten a couple of notes out. So we got ourselves together and headed over to the Windjammer (which was serving lunch by now. I know I said I usually hate to have lunch food instead of eggs to start my day, but today I had planned on it.)

I was still in a fairly foul mood, and looking at the choices the Windjammer offered wasn't improving it any. The restaurant is still in COVID mode, so instead being able to serve yourself at the buffet, you have to have the staff serve you. I get the reasons behind this, but I don't like it. First you have to get a crew member's attention, and the amount they serve is never exactly what you'd serve yourself. It also makes the line move slower.

Eventually, I settled on a hot dog, a cheeseburger and some mac and cheese. It wasn't going to win any culinary (or health) awards, but it served my needs.

We got back to the room, and once again, I found myself at cross-purposes with the room steward Daniel, who had just then sent someone in to start cleaning the room. I tried to tell him we didn't really need it, and he could do it when we were out for dinner. We compromised on just having him clean the bathroom. Then I settled in to work for the day. (Denise went out to do her thing, out and about on the ship.)

I worked for several hours, and by the time I was calling it a day, I had dug out of most of what had been dumped on me the night before. Unfortunately, while I was sending stuff out, people kept sending stuff in, so I finished the day not much further ahead than when I'd started. It sucked, but it would have to do.

At this point, I laid down and took a nap for maybe 45 minutes or an hour, until Denise came back to the cabin. She got herself together for a night out. (I think tonight's theme was Yacht Rock night). I put on some pants. One thing I liked about this cruise was the complete lack of pressure to get dressed up. (Which might come in handy by the end of the cruise, as at this point, I think I'd realized that I'd packed about 45 pairs of underwear but only about six T-shirts.)

I had hoped to catch a singer named Jennifer Hart at some point that day. She was a regular cruise ship singer, not an 80's star. Like The Human League, she got on and off the ship in St. Thomas. But I just wasn't able to match up either of her two sets for the day with my schedule.

We had dinner as part of a table of eight, which was fine. And tonight's dinner was better than the night before's. (This time, I passed on asking for coffee with dessert.)

When we finished, we scurried across the hall to Studio B (I liked that it was so close to the Main Dining Room) to see Paul Young. We'd seen him do a short set once before on one of the 80's tours in Atlantic City. This was another one of those acts that I could have just as easily skipped. Denise wanted to see him, though, so I figured I'd keep her company.

I'd describe his set as "amiable." It wasn't anything unforgettable, but it was OK. Paul's voice has lost a step or two just since we last saw him a few years ago. But he had a good band that covered it up pretty well (including the guitarist for Dire Straits Legacy, who had stepped in for Young's guitarist, who was still sick). He also had two cute female backup singers who were fun to watch. And he did a cover of Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart" which was kind of neat. He did all of the songs Denise wanted to hear, so he was good with me. And of course, he closed with his big hit, "Every Time You Go Away." Overall, I was glad I went.

After the show, we ran into Larry the Duck, whom Denise had met multiple times, but I never had. He introduced me to his wife Suzanne. We told him we were planning to attend his New Wave Karaoke Party later that night, which he seemed pleased to hear. He asked me what I was going to sing. (Um, nothing?) He kind of encouraged me (cough, cough!), so I scoured my brain for what I might be able to fake.

After that, it was time for one of the two headliners of the cruise, and one of the main bands we'd come to see - The Human League. The plan was that they would get on the ship in St. Thomas, perform their two shows, and get right the hell back off again. I had no problem with this plan. I wouldn't have known what to say to them if I ran into them on the buffet line anyway. (Maybe, "Stop slowing up the line!?") Because we had red passes, we were scheduled to see them for the second show.

This time, we went right to the balcony on Deck 4 - I had no intention of having another run-in with the Show Nazi's tonight.

To make a long story short, this was the highlight of the trip (in spite of the uncomfortable seats in the Royal Theater. You suck, Royal Theater!) Their set flew by, and was very cool, both visually and sound wise. The two ladies were a little flat at times, but not too bad. And Philip Oakey sounded great, especially considering the guy is a year older than I am. Their set seemed short, partially because they were the first band I'd seen all week to end their set early so they could do a (well deserved) encore.

By the time their show was over, I was in a much better mood (even though I was still pretty well buried in work).

At this point, Denise and I went upstairs to relax for an hour. The plan was to look at tomorrow's schedule and see if we maybe wanted to get off the boat in St. Maarten's to do an excursion. Unfortunately, when we got up to the room, we found that the crew had dropped the ball - they left our daily swag (I think it was a hat), but had forgotten to leave us tomorrow's daily schedule. I decided to go downstairs to the customer service desk to get one (two), although by this time, we had pretty much abandoned the idea of an excursion tomorrow - I had too damned much work still, and Denise had thrown her back out badly the night before we flew out by trying to pick up and weigh her luggage. She was in a lot of pain.

I went down and got the schedules, then headed all the way up to Deck 14 to Ellington's Night Club, where the Duck's karaoke was scheduled to be held. Denise met me up there shortly thereafter.

Now this was a nice place. It looked down upon the pool deck, where they were still holding the Yacht Rockin' Pool Party. We couldn't find chairs with a good view of the karaoke stage, but the ones we did find had a great view down on the pool deck. It was amazing. As I said, a lot of the Royal Caribbean design is focused inward on the ship, so it was great to finally see this wonderful outside view. I think it was the first time I really felt like I was on a cruise ship. (Denise thinks this is an area that's normally only for Diamond Club members, and I think she might be right about that. It seemed pretty ritzy. I felt like I was the riff-raff who had somehow snuck in past the bouncer.)

By this time, I was totally relaxed. I don't even think I had a drink at Ellington's (although I'd had a Mudslide earlier at The Human League show). But Denise and I just relaxed, looked at the view, and listened to the karaoke (which was pretty fun).

I had decided that if I had to, I'd maybe try to handle The Cars' "Just What I Needed". But fortunately, we were far enough from the stage and Larry's sign-up sheet was full enough, that there was no pressure to sing. So I didn't.

We stayed until the end of the karaoke show at 1AM, and just a little beyond. I felt bad that Denise's back was bothering her so much. But still, she seemed to be enjoying herself, so all was well.

Eventually, maybe 15 or 20 minutes after the show ended, we headed down to bed.

The 80's Cruise Day 3: Happy Birthday to Me

It's hard to get Denise up and out for breakfast on a cruise ship, especially this one, since she's usually out late dancing. So I found a reasonable workaround - room service! I learned that if you fill out a room service breakfast request form the night before and hang it on your door by 3AM, they'll bring breakfast right to you. This way, Denise can sleep in, and I can get my eggs without having to wonder off to the Windjammer without her.

Breakfast could be delivered anytime up to 11AM, so I'd filled out the menu last night, requesting it be delivered between 10:30 and 11. Much to my surprise, I learned that this was too late for Denise, as she planned to be out early to buy cards for the Bloody Mary Bingo Bash, hosted by Modern English and Gene Loves Jezebel. OK then. So we changed our form and requested that breakfast be delivered between 9:30 and 10.

Today was a bit of a special day - my 65th Birthday! Denise was thrilled, because I'm older than her again. I was happy because I'm inching closer to my retirement day, knowing full well I'll probably drop dead the day before.

We ate our breakfast together, which was good. 

My plan for the day was simple - as this was a working vacation for me (and a bit of an experiment to see if I could keep up with work from a cruise ship), I planned to stay in the cabin all day and try to catch up on my notes.

I did leave the cabin when Denise did in the morning, to try to pick up some supplies I hadn't packed - shaving cream, mouthwash, etc. - and to give the cabin steward a chance to clean the room.

I soon found myself on the 5th deck, where I picked up what I could (they didn't have shaving cream), and perused the special 80's store they had set up in the ship's library. Before the cruise, I had planned to buy myself a Mariner of the Seas hat. However, given my feelings about the ship, which I expressed to you in the last blog entry, I changed my mind.

While I was near the 80's store, I found myself next door to the 5th Deck Star Lounge, where they were having a special screening of the New Wave: Dare to Be Different documentary, the story of the WLIR radio station, hosted by Larry the Duck. Although Denise and I had seen it when it first came out, I popped in and grabbed a seat. The film had already started, and I was only able to stay for about a half an hour before I had to leave to use the restroom. I was sorry to leave, though. If you haven't seen it, it's a great film. Unfortunately, though, after I finished doing my business, I figured I'd better head up to the room and get to work.

When I got there, I found that Daniel the cabin steward hadn't started cleaning the room yet. This was to be a constant theme of the cruise, as Daniel's schedule and mine always seemed to be at cross purposes. I went out to the balcony for a bit to let him do his thing.

Once he had finished, I dug in and started working. There was a lot to catch up on, but I worked steadily, ordering room service instead of leaving the room for lunch. By the time Denise and I were ready to head out to dinner, I had actually cleared my email box. Well, mostly. Part of my job is that I also do some proofreading on reports for our Family Services division, and they had filled that box up for me today. But those are able to wait, so I'll worry about them when I get back next Monday. (Although I really wish I could go away for a week and not have to worry about them. But there's really no one else to do them unless it's an emergency, so they're going to be there hanging over my head until I get back.)

I had taken a sneak peek at tonight's menu, and decided to order the Chicken Cordon Bleu for my birthday dinner. And instead of the traditional birthday cake for desert, I planned to order Tres Leches, in honor of one of the kids with whom our agency works, who loves this desert like crazy.

Unfortunately, as I've said, the food on the ship has been been very hit and miss, and tonight they missed. The chicken cordon bleu was very dry, and while the sauce they prepared for it helped a little, there wasn't really enough to cover the whole thing. To make matters worse, we ordered coffee with the dessert, and it was burnt to the point where it roiled my stomach and gave me heartburn that lasted into the next day. (I think I've gotten spoiled by my Keurig at home. With a Keurig, you never have a pot of coffee sitting there all day getting burnt. You make it one cup at a time, so every cup is a good one.) The Tres Leches was good, though.

After that, I went back to the room and made a key error - I opened my work email box again. And what I found wasn't good. One of the workers had saved up a month's worth of notes and sent them to me all at once. I was angry, depressed and pretty freaked out. This meant that after working all day instead of enjoying the cruise ship on my 65th birthday, I was (much) further behind that I had been when I'd started the day. In fact, the likelihood was that I wouldn't catch up again for the rest of the cruise. Thanks a lot!

I won't lie, this totally ruined my night. The main stage show of the night was DSL: Dire Straits Legacy (which was basically a Dire Straits tribute band made up of first-rate musicians, but without Mark Knopfler). I kind of felt like I could see them or not - I own a couple of Dire Straits albums, but I rarely listen to them, and it's not like I'm a huge fan. But I did like some of the guys in the current band, including Trevor Horn (formerly of The Buggles and Yes) and Mel Collins (formerly of King Crimson). And I certainly wasn't going back to work tonight. So I headed down to meet Denise (who had gone to see The Sugarhill Gang at Studio B after dinner.)

She was in a good mood. She'd enjoyed Sugarhill Gang. She commiserated with me about the notes, but what can you do?

We tried to go down to the uncomfortable Royal Theater (You suck, Royal Theater!) to take seats for the show. But some Show Nazi's who either worked for the ship or for ECP smilingly but firmly told us they only open the doors 15 minutes before the show, so we had to go back upstairs. I almost just went back up to the room and forgot about it. I was that sore and disgusted. But I knew that that wouldn't have helped my mood any.

We waited a few minutes and went back down to the Theater (this time going to the 4th deck and the balcony, thereby avoiding the Show Nazi's on the floor below.) We got ourselves seated on the right-side balcony (opposite of where we'd seen Modern English from yesterday).

The show soon started. Or should have. Mark Goodman and Alan Hunter (the former MTV veejays) came out for the intro and wasted our time shooting a promo for next year's cruise that they kept screwing up. If I could have, I'd have tossed them both overboard.

Then the show finally started, and not a minute too soon. I needed some rock! The band came out and opened with "Private Investigations," possibly the slowest and quietest song in their repertoire. Thanks guys.

For their next number, they went into "Walk of Live", and the crowd livened up a little. But apparently not quite enough for the lead singer, who asked, "Are you guys OK out there?"

Well maybe if you hadn't fucking put them to sleep with your first song!

Then they did a slow, jazzy number. It was like this the entire night. Every time they rocked out a little and got the crowd going, they immediately slowed it down. They even did that in the middle of "Sultans of Swing". It drove me crazy. I understand the concept of dynamics, but Jesus! You guys have all been around long enough to know better.

Meanwhile, the people in the row in front of us spent the whole first part of the show having conversations with one another instead of letting everyone listen to the music. I was so drained and depressed that, to be honest, I didn't even notice it until Denise pointed it out to me. But it was getting her upset.

I realize that my reaction to Dire Straits Legacy was as much about my own mental state as it was about what they were doing. On another night, I might have been really into it, and, for example, totally loved "Private Inestigations". But I just wasn't capable of digesting any subtlety tonight. They were being way too artsy for me.

I did enjoy certain songs, like "Walk of Life", Trevor Horn's rendition of Yes's "Owner of a Lonely Heart" (which he co-wrote with Trevor Rabin) and of course "Sultans of Swing" (at least until they slowed it down). They closed with "Money for Nothing", but I've never been a fan of that one. On the other hand, I was sorry they hadn't played a couple of the Dire Straits songs I do like, such as "Lady Writer" and "Once Upon a Time in the West". Oh well.

I trudged back up to the room after their set, still feeling lousy from the bad dinner and the burnt coffee. I told Denise I might go back down and meet her at Studio B at 11 for the toga party with Trial By Fire. But once I got upstairs, I decided to stay in for the rest of the night and lick my wounds. This experiment of working on a cruise ship really wasn't working out. In fact, I was so discouraged, I was wishing I could cancel our May cruise on the Celebrity Summit.

I went up on the Sputnik Music website the next morning. I've been driving these guys crazy for the two years of the pandemic, talking about cruising and describing the ships sailing in on out of the Miami Cruise Port on the port's YouTube Channel. But this morning, I posted on our casual conversation music list, "Do you guys want to hear something sad? I'm not sure I like cruising as much as I used to."

The 80's Cruise: Day 1 Addendum and Day 2

First, a few updates I left out of the Day 1 wrap-up (because the days are running together for me and I forgot it happened on Day 1 and not Day 2.) Prior to the ABC show in the Main Theater, there were two guys doing a skit as Marty McFly and Doc, who were very good (and very funny. At one point, Doc was buying plutonium at the ship's gift shop.) Somewhere in the midst of their bit, they made the announcement that there was a huge addition to the cruise: Living Colour had been added to the lineup. (This was no biggie for me, because if Living Colour was playing for free in my backyard, I wouldn't open the window to listen to them. But most people seemed to be excited.)

Later on in Studio B, before Trial By Fire played, Marty and Doc were back to announce the lineup for next year's cruise (which Denise already has us booked on). It included Howard Jones, Midge Ure, The Church, Kim Wilde, Morris Day and the Time, The Smithereens (with Marshall Crenshaw), Cutting Crew, John Parr, Jody Watley, Autograph, China Crisis and EXTC (The touring version of XTC without Andy Partridge) with the co-headliners being Bret Michaels and Devo. Denise was thrilled at this last one in particular. We're supposed to see Howard Jones and Midge Ure playing together at the Patchogue Theatre in a couple of months, so I wasn't as excited about them as I otherwise would have been. But I was intrigued at the addition of The Church, China Crisis and EXTC.

So anyway, onward to Day 2:

I woke up about 9:30 this morning, and my back was feeling much better. I had seasickness medication with me, and I also had the med that I use to control my occasional bouts of vertigo. But much to my surprise, I didn't need either of them. I haven't cruised in 5 years, so I thought maybe geezer me would be more prone to seasickness than younger me. Happily, not so much, even though the seas had been rough all night and were still rough this morning.

We had been supposed to dock in Nassau, Bahamas this morning, and at one point I woke up and thought the ship had stopped. But now that I was fully awake, I realized we were moving again. I looked out through the curtains, and as I had thought, we were still at sea. So either we were late getting to Nassau, or for some reason, we hadn't been allowed to stop there. I turned on the television and tuned it to the Map Channel, and sure enough, it looked like the little ship icon had hit the Bahamas, bounced off and kept on going.

Denise woke up to use the bathroom. She mentioned she had heard a long announcement earlier in the morning from the captain, but it hadn't been piped into our room.

I asked her if she felt like getting dressed and getting some breakfast. She replied with a big raspberry, and said that was what she thought of that idea. She then laid back down to go back to sleep. OK then.

I did some work on my laptop. About an hour later, she got back up. By this time, my stomach was complaining it was time for some food. 

I then learned two unfortunate facts about the ship. The first was that the main dining room only served breakfast from 8 until 9:30AM. Thanks for the effort, boys. The second was that even the Windjammer only served breakfast until 11. 

This made me rather crabby. I was hungry, and I was hungry for breakfast food! None of that crappy lunch stuff they were serving up yesterday.

We cleaned up, got dressed and headed to the Promenade Cafe, a little coffee/snack thingy on Deck 5. It also only served breakfast until 11, but it was at least a little closer than the Windjammer.

We got there just in time to grab some distinctly mediocre breakfast sandwiches. I had really been hoping for a plate full of scrambled eggs and sausages, but it was better than nothing. I also grabbed some coffee, which made me less crabby.

We learned that we hadn't been able to disembark in Nassau because of the rough weather. That was OK with us, because we hadn't been planning to leave the ship anyway. Because of the schedule change, though, a few things had been moved around to fill in the day, including an interview by Lori Majewski (of Sirius FM fame) of Flock of Seagulls' Mike Score that I wanted to catch.

Denise went off to do her own thing for awhile, and I went back to the cabin to work. I had a fairly light schedule planned music-wise, as the late show in Studio B was scheduled to be Jack Russell's Great White, and the Main Stage show was Cameo, neither of which I had any interest in seeing. (Paul Young had originally been supposed to play that early show, but his guitarist had gotten sick and mucked up the whole schedule, so they were plugging Gene Loves Jezebel back in.)

So here's the gist of the day: Denise and I met up at the main dining room at noon to catch the Mike Score interview. I did some work in the afternoon. Then at 4PM, we headed over to catch a set by Modern English from the balcony of the Royal Theatre. We had a little more room up there today than we'd had last night down below for ABC, although the seats were still uncomfortable. We've seen Modern English before, and we've always enjoyed them. Today was no different.

Our dinner ran long tonight because they sat us at a full table of eight people. (It was good, though.) This unfortunately made us late to see Gene Loves Jezebel again, although we caught some of their best stuff (including "Desire" and "Motion of Love"). After that, Denise saw Cameo in the Main Theater, and enjoyed them. I enjoyed going up to the room and not seeing them. (I wouldn't have said that too loudly, though - a couple of the guys from the band had the cabin next door to us.)

We then hooked up for a late night show in Studio B by the Depeche Mode tribute band, Strangelove. Unfortunately, although these guys are very good, they're also incredibly loud, much louder than any other band on the boat. (And this is coming from a guy who spent years sitting in tiny bars listening to The Good Rats cranked up to 100 without ever wearing ear plugs). It didn't help that we were seated directly under a speaker. I lasted for maybe 30 minutes tops, but I just wasn't enjoying it. So I left. (Denise hung in there for their full set.)

Today, I felt more in the rhythm of things. Unfortunately, much as I hate to say it, I'm not loving The Mariner of the Seas as a ship. The food has been very hit and miss, the crew polite but sometimes kind of confused (see my comments on the muster drill), and I don't love the basic design.

As someone who has mostly sailed on Carnival ships, they usually have an area near the casino where there's a concourse that has some food places (like the coffee bar) on one side, and a big series of windows on the other side. It has comfortable chairs where you can sit during the day and either people watch or look out on the ocean.

Royal's concourse is all inside, with shops lining both sides and no ocean view. I feel much less like I'm on a ship. I prefer Carnival's outside focus to Royal's inside one. And then, of course, there's that matter of the seats in the Royal Theatre (compared to the seats in Carnival's main theater, which are way more comfortable, offer some loveseat seating, etc.) It looks like I won't be ditching Carnival for Royal anytime soon.

The 80's Cruise: Day 1

Where to begin? Well yeah, we made it onto the ship, the Mariner of the Seas. I think we came in on Deck 4. Already people were drinking and unwinding.

Denise and I sat for a moment to figure out where we had to do out muster drill. For those of you who've never cruised before, prior to the ship leaving the shore, you have to complete a safety drill, where they tell you where to go in case you hit an iceberg or something, how to put on your life jacket, etc. I personally never really absorb it, because when I set foot on the ship, I'm pretty much counting on them to find a way not to sink.

The drills used to be long and time consuming, waiting for everyone to show up at once. However, one of the few plusses of the pandemic was that ships had to find a way to do it differently, because you don't want everyone gathering together and standing on top of one another in a close space all at the same time. So now, you go to your muster station and check in, and then watch some videos on your phone.

This was pretty disorganized on Mariner. All of the crew members were wearing masks (although the passengers no longer have to), and they're from all different countries. So between their masks, their accents and my poor hearing, I couldn't understand what they were saying. But they told us we were good, which was nice. Except that for the next few days, Denise and I kept getting messages on our phones saying "You MUST complete your muster drill within the next 30 minutes." Ho boy.

We then checked into our cabin, which had the easily remembered number of 8642. (Get it - 8-6-4-2? Start at 8 and go down by two's. Best cabin number I ever had.)

After that, we went to the Windjammer, which is Royal Caribbean's buffet restaurant, to grab a quick lunch before sail away. Unfortunately, the quality of food they had there wasn't the best. And Denise was still a bit flustered from our travails in getting on the ship. So when she sat down at the table and accidentally spilled her bean salad all over, it didn't help her mood any.

Meanwhile, I started looking around and realized I was surrounded by all sorts of characters in weird, alien-like outfits. This was the '80s Cruise! Denise knew what to expect, and was happy about it, because, as she put it, "These are my people!" I, on the other hand, was wondering just what I'd gotten myself into.

We went back to the cabin to settle in and unpack a little. Now I would have been happy with a little quiet time. We had a balcony (which is the first time I've ever had one of those in my cruise cabin. We usually buy an inside cabin with no balconies and no windows - the cheapest ones you can get.) And I would have been perfectly happy to sit serenely on the balcony and watch us sail away. But Denise really wanted to go to the sail-away party on the pool deck upstairs. And I was still in make-up mode, considering my big mouth had almost made her miss the cruise.

All around us, people in strange costumes were decorating their cabin doors with 80's memorabilia and swag, a tradition on the '80s Cruise (and one that Denise fully intended to participate in). 

As sail-away time grew closer, Denise and I made our way to the elevator to go up to the pool deck. We rode to Deck 11 (where all the noise was) and stepped outside. And as I looked around me, I found myself stepping into what seemed to be the arena from the film Gladiator. I looked up and saw wall-to-wall people, not only on our deck, but leaning over the railings for two more decks up. The music was ear-splitting, and as for someplace to sit, forget it. I froze in panic with what must have been a horrified expression on my face. (Don't forget, I've barely been out of the house for two years, since the pandemic hit.)

Denise looked at me and realized I was overwhelmed. She took pity. "OK, you can go back to the cabin if you want," she said over the roar of party people.

"You're OK with that?" I asked sheepishly. I wanted desperately to escape.

She nodded. I was out of there and back down the elevator so fast that Barry Allen would have been impressed.

I made my way back to the cabin, a little shaken and full of sensory overload. It was at this point that I realized that I was going to need to take this cruise at my own pace. This meant being patient with myself and retreating to quiet places when I needed to.

I sat out on my balcony in relative peace and watched us sail away from Orlando. It was nice, and even though I could still hear the bedlam going on on the pool deck three floors away, it was peaceful. And it was good to be cruising again. (Although I definitely wished that I had taken a quiet, regular cruise to get my sea legs back before taking this one.)

Denise joined me a little while later. She spent the rest of the time before dinner decorating our door and chatting with the people who complimented it as they walked by. I hid in our room, out of sight.

At dinner in the Main Dining Room, I again felt a sense of sensory overload at all of the colorful outfits people wore. It was like a 1980s version of Halloween.

For the first night of our cruise, our music schedule was packed tight. It started at 7PM in Studio B, right across from the dining room, where the band I liked best on the cruise, A Flock of Seagulls, was scheduled.

By the time we finished dinner and entered Studio B (which is normally an ice skating arena), the band was already playing, and we thought we'd missed the first song or two. (Later on, I realized I was probably mistaken about that.)

A couple of things about Flock. First, Mike Score, the singer and main songwriter of the band, is the only original member left (at least in this touring rendition). And second, his voice is shot, and has been for some time.

We found some high seats at a cocktail table to the left of the stage (the band's right) and settled in. I even ordered a drink (as did Denise).

Now I enjoyed the hell out of the band (as did most of the crowd, by all indications). The songs sounded great (even if Mike's voice didn't), and this is a band with a bunch of great songs. They made the rather ballsy decision to play several songs off of their fifth album, 1995's The Light at the End of The World, which I've only become familiar with in this last year. It was released way after the height of the band's popularity, but it's actually grown on me as being a pretty good album.

But at some point relatively early in their set, I realized (and the band commented on it) that the boat was rocking pretty good. And if you looked out the side windows, you could see some rough seas. So as we listened, our not-very-comfortable high barstools swirled back and forth, and the combination of that and my strawberry daiquiri made me feel a little nauseous. It made my back sore as well.

Flock finished with a flourish, playing three of their best songs, "Space Age Love Song" (my personal favorite), "Wishing" and "I Ran" all in a row. I was happy.

Next on the schedule was a jog (or a hobble, in my case) across the ship to the Royal Theater (the ship's main stage) to see ABC.

Honesty time here. I'd seen ABC once before, and I hadn't really liked them. And when I saw the original schedule for tonight, I'd planned to skip ABC altogether. But Denise really likes these guys, and part of the idea of this cruise is for us to spend time together. We're both generally comfortable doing our own thing. However, this was the first night, and I was still feeling kind of bad about almost mucking up the cruise for her.

We watch a lot of cruise vloggers on YouTube (most of whom were sailing this week out of Ft. Lauderdale on Royal Caribbean's newest and largest ship, Wonder of the Seas). And probably my favorite, Tony Barnette of La Lido Loca, loves Royal Caribbean ships, but has stated honestly that their main theater isn't the most comfortable for "fluffy" travelers. After this show, I agree.

I'm actually at my lowest weight of the pandemic now. But for me, the seats in the theater were way too tight, to the point that after sitting for this ABC show, my left hip is now all bruised.

Now to their credit, ABC sounded really tight. And unlike my poor friend Mike Score, Martin Frye, their vocalist, has maintained his voice pretty well. But I'm just not impressed with most of their songs. So I sat there for a 90-minute set, uncomfortable, sore and mostly bored. (Although I have to say I think I was the only one in the theater who was feeling this way. Most of the crowd was loving it.)

Finally at the end of their set, the band caught my attention with a 3-song close of "When Smoky Sings" (which is at least OK), "The Look of Love" (my favorite song of theirs) and "Be Near Me" (which I also like).

Next, we scurried across the ship back to Studio B to catch the last third of a set by Gene Loves Jezebel (the set I'd originally planned to see instead of ABC's).

I've done this spiel before, but indulge me. If you ever want to understand why there's war going on right now in Eastern Europe, or why the Arabs and the Jews hate one another, look no further than Gene Loves Jezebel. Here is a band that was founded by identical twin brothers who fell out, sued one another, and now run two different renditions of Gene Love's Jezebel, one in the US and the other in the UK. Here are two guys who have the same set of genes, who look at one another and think, "You're more like me than anyone else in the world. But you still suck, and I hate you!" Human nature dooms us all.

Now I had seen the brother's version of this band (known as Jay Ashton's Gene Love Jezebel in the U.S.) at the Paramount in Huntington back in 2019, and I'd really enjoyed them. And I enjoyed these guys too. When we walked in, they were messing around with an odd version of Patti Smith's "Horses". (Or maybe it was an extended version of their song "Desire" - I'm not really sure.) They played two more songs after that, and then they were gone. I hope I get to see them again later in the week.

At this point, it was after 11. But I was finally in a comfortable seat, and I was starting to relax. So we decided to stay for one of the cruise's 80's cover bands, and I was glad we did.

Trial By Fire is a West Coast band that plays covers of most of the 80's' rockier material. Van Halen, Ozzie, Metallica, Guns 'N Roses, these guys play it all. Four of the band members sing, and they're all decent. (I particularly liked the guy who does the Journey songs - he has an amazing voice.) They played for over an hour, and we stayed for their whole set. I could have done without the Prince covers, but hey, you can't like everything, right?

Finally, we stumbled back to our cabin and turned in for the night. We were scheduled to wake up in Nassau, Bahamas. I was physically sore, still on sensory overload and very tired. Denise was having a wonderful time. I was enjoying a lot of it, but I still wasn't sure if the 80's cruise was for me. With that thought in my head, I fell asleep.

Prog Contest 2022: Round 1 Match 3

So here we go with Match 3 of the first round. This time, we've got an eclectic Polish prog rock band with an album from 1980 matching up against a Spanish prog rock/Andalusian rock band with an album from 1979. Here's the tale of the tape:

SBB - Memento Z Banalnym Tryptykiem

SBB is a criminally slept on polish prog group that have made some of my favorite records in all of music. I love their songwriting and musicianship, and that's on full display on this record in particular. This record is a great show of strength for the group's abilities, from flashy exciting jazz fusion to the somber, Spanish-influenced wails of a lone guitar, these guys know how to make a melody. And I want to make sure everyone knows that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq2WKo5s8e8&ab_channel=EricDeRosaProg

vs.

Mezquita - Recuerdos De Mi Tierra

Mezquita were from Cordoba, Spain, so you get what the cool kidz call "Rock Andaluz" (in other words prog rock infused with flamenco + a noticeable north african influence (think morocco etc. ))
What else... Franco is dead (yay!) and burns in hell for all eternity, so different regions in Spain were starting to feel themselves again resulting in a rise of regional pride resulting (among other things) in this: an album that just oozes Andalusia.
tl;dr: a damn good andalusian prog rock record, just bask in the glory of southern Spain.

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdChSFgFT2Q
(it's also on Spotify)

Prog at it, boys!

The Road to the '80s Cruise

Well we actually made it, and I'm typing this from the 2022 80's Cruise from onboard Royal Caribbean's Mariner of the Seas. But let me tell you, it wasn't an easy road to get here.

I'll start by saying that my background in psychology and my knowledge of human nature leads me to say that we all have areas of our lives where we're a little crazy. Some have many, some have fewer. But when you feel yourself easily angered about something, and pushing things just a little too hard, then someone has touched on one of yours. Speaking personally, I have a lot of them. I mean a lot. My wife Denise, not so many. But one of them is her devotion to 80's music in general, and the '80's Cruise in particular. She went for the first time two years ago, and she thought she'd gone to heaven. And for her, in a way, the entire two years of the COVID pandemic has been about her struggle to get back to the next one.

I've told you a little over the course of the pandemic how I've vacillated about being excited about going on the cruise and being anxious about it. I mean, it's a frigging pandemic! And there were a lot of things that concerned me about it, especially that I knew this: While most cruise ships today have been going out at much, much less than full capacity, some of them practically ghost ships, because this was a cruise that was chartered by an outside company (ECP), and because the cruise was just about sold out in advance almost two years ago, this ship was going to be damned near 100% full. (And while I haven't double-checked it with ship personnel, from what I see this week, I was mostly correct about that.) Social distancing? What's that? 6 feet apart in the elevators? Don't make me laugh.

So when the omicron variant suddenly took off near the end of last year, my anxiety went through the roof. When ECP offered full refunds to everyone in November if they cancelled their cruise by the end of that week, I gently implied to Denise that perhaps we should take advantage of that offer while we could. She didn't respond - I'm not even sure if she processed what I said - but the next day, she went and booked our hotel rooms in Florida. Which I guess was her way of telling me she was going, whether I was or not. OK, fine.

So we've chugged along, getting ready for our cruise, I with equal parts excitement and dread. (Well, dread is probably too strong a word. But discomfort, anyway.)

A little more than a week ago, I came down with a minor medical ailment that made me doubt whether it would be a good idea if I went. I pulled my son aside, as he's the one who had accompanied my wife to the last 80's Cruise, and asked him if he'd be able to step in for me at the last minute if I wasn't able to go. (I didn't want Denise trying to make the trip to Florida, etc., without some help, if at all possible.) My son told me he'd go if he "had to," because he didn't want Denise traveling alone either. However, he also let me know that he'd rather not if I didn't need him to, because he had "big plans" for the week we were going to be away. When your 21-year-old who still lives with you makes a comment like that - well, lets just say I was suitably terrified. Luckily for him, my ailment cleared up, so I told him never mind.

The next thing that happened occurred the weekend before we were set to sail. That Saturday, my daughter's boyfriend (who lives with us) came home ill. By the next day, he was hacking and coughing and feeling miserable. At this point, Denise, who is usually the most compassionate of people, let me know secretly that she planned to kill him if he spread COVID through the house and caused us to miss the cruise. I reminded her that it wasn't his fault if he got sick. She agreed. Nevertheless, I sensed that his life might be hanging by a thread.

That Monday, while I was still half asleep, I heard my son walking him through a home COVID test. I also heard him sneezing a coughing up a storm, all throughout the house, and I knew there was no way the rest of us weren't going to catch it. I learned later on that thankfully, he had tested negative on the home test. Unfortunately, by the end of the night, I could feel my throat getting sore, And sure enough, by the next day, everyone else in the house was feeling terrible.

(A day or so later, he confided that he was pretty sure he'd gotten sick due to taking a February "cold water plunge." At that point, I withdrew my services as his defense lawyer. If he made Denise miss this cruise, there was no saving him.)

Tuesday and Wednesday nights, I felt godawful - sneezing, coughing, etc. I took care of my health as best I could, and by Thursday, I was much better. (Which was a good thing, as we were scheduled to fly out on Friday.)

However, the next hurdle was our pre-COVID testing. Although the cruise COVID protocols have changed almost every other week over the last few months, for right now, the cruise lines are all requiring you to pass a COVID test within two days of your sail date. Our sail date was Saturday.

We had purchased COVID tests from the cruise line, which are special tests that you have to take while proctored by medical personnel over Zoom. (A regular home test isn't acceptable - it has to be supervised by a medical person.) Because we're both vaccinated, we only had to take the rapid test, but it's non-negotiable - if you show up at your cruise port without proof that you've passed a medically supervised COVID test, they won't let you on the ship - end of story.

We called into the test line, and Denise went first. The person supervising was obviously not in America, and as I listened to his heavy accent giving instructions, I stressed - I wasn't sure I'd be able to follow them when it was my turn. Denise was also getting flustered, until at one point, he told her to remove a tab. When she did, her test strip fell apart. He had meant a different tab. Unfortunately, this made the test unusable, and Denise had only bought two tests - one for each of us. He informed us it was no problem, because he would report that the test was no good, and they'd issue us a refund. He didn't seem to understand (or to care) that the refund wasn't what made a difference - we had to both submit negative COVID tests, or it was no cruise for us.

Luckily (and this is something that wouldn't have happened a few months ago), there was a CitiMD near us that indicated that we could come in that day, and we'd receive our results the same day. (I did offer to let Denise use the second test kit and go without me, but I really didn't want to see her have to go on her own.)

In any event, we shot over to the medical office, and after a moment of panic because it looked closed, we were able to enter the office and get tested. Because my daughter's boyfriend, who now referred to himself as "Patient Zero," had tested negative on the home COVID test, I was pretty sure that we both would too. And happily, I was correct.

I was still a little nervous, and that night, I emailed my travel agent and asked her if there was any chance cold symptoms might still keep us off the cruise. She emailed me back that there was, because they still ask you health questions before the cruise. I considered withholding this info from Denise, but decided that if this was going to happen. it would be better if she was prepared for it. In retrospect, that was an error. "We don't tell them!" she practically shouted.

I wasn't comfortable with this. I'm a lousy liar anyway, and I had heard of a case a few months earlier where someone had gone on a ship and had withheld telling the cruise line he had symptoms. Then, once he was on the ship, his symptoms worsened, and they had to remove him early. (They might have even had to turn the ship around to do so.) They had removed him from the ship, and I'd heard there was a chance he was going to be banned from cruising ever again. I repeated this information to Denise, but she wasn't impressed. "I don't care! I'm going!" she insisted. "And if you tell them and they say you can't go, Bye!"

At this time, I think I told her that for next year's cruise in California (which she has already booked us on), I wasn't going. "I can't deal with this!" I told her.

She calmed down a little, as did I. But I didn't know how this was going to play out.

We both got a good night's sleep and left the house early the next morning to catch our flight. It was all good now, right? Not so much.

We were flying out of Kennedy Airport (which I hated, but apparently there are no direct flights to Orlando these days out of MacArthur). Instead of parking in the long-term airport parking lot, Denise had prepaid for parking nearby at a much lower rate, as she had two years ago when she went with my son. Unfortunately, the lot she'd parked in last time had been booked up, so they'd referred her to another lot. We entered the company's alleged address into her GPS and headed off. You know where this is going, don't you?

We were supposed to arrive at 11AM at the lot, leave her car, and take their shuttle to the airport next door for our 1PM flight. But you know, sometimes GPS's lie.

We drove around for 30 minutes trying to find this stupid lot. People gave us different directions, none of them correct. Finally, at the last possible minute, Denise was able to find the number to call our lot, and they told us how to get there.

We got to the airport, checked in (there were a few issues with this as well), and got ushered to the gate approximately two seconds before boarding began.

We had another slight issue on the flight - we always buy an extra seat, because we're hefty. But the agent we'd checked in with had forgotten to give us a boarding pass for the extra seat. And shortly before our takeoff, a woman showed up with a boarding pass for our extra seat.

Luckily, Denise had the paperwork to prove we had paid for the extra seat, and the flight attendants had been able to find an extra seat elsewhere for this woman.

The flight was otherwise uneventful, except that I often have problems with my ears while flying - they don't handle the depressurization of the cabins all that well, and especially because I still had a cold, the landing was kind of painful. Other than that, though, the flight went well. We landed and caught our shuttle to the hotel we were staying in Friday night.

We had a quiet dinner at the hotel, went to bed and got a good night's sleep. It was all smooth sailing from here. (Right.)

In the morning, the cruise bus we'd arranged picked us up a little early at our hotel. We got to the cruise port with no issues, and went to customer service. We had arranged wheelchairs for the embarkation process, as neither of us can stand and walk for as long as check-in usually takes. At one point, Denise started to ask the wheelchair handlers about the health questionnaire (as we hadn't found it online where we had expected). But they didn't really understand what she was asking, and I poo-pooed it and got her to stop asking. Don't ask, don't tell, I figured.

We were whizzed through security, and over to the next step in the check-in process. At this point, a lady in front of the counter started to ask us a few questions. She checked our negative COVID tests, and we were just flying through this process. She had a few last questions for us: "Have you had any flu symptoms this week - any fever, chills, body aches, loss of taste, coughing, congestion?" she asked, seeming to barely listen to our answers.

"I had a little congestion early in the week, but nothing serious," I heard myself say.

The whole terminal seemed to go go silent, as the woman's expression got serious. "Did you say you had congestion?" she asked.

No! What? I never said that.

I sheepishly said, "Yes, but it's mostly gone now."

I looked across and saw Denise shooting daggers at me with her eyes over her COVID mask.

"Come to the counter," the woman told us.

"Oh, you probably shouldn't have said that," my wheelchair pusher whispered. At this point, I knew I had stepped in it.

Over at the counter, they asked us a million more questions about our health issues - when did they start, etc. (By this point, Denise had fessed up to having congestion also, glaring at me the whole time.)

"What happens now?" my wheelchair handler asked.

"You have to take them downstairs to be retested," the woman behind the counter replied.

At this point, my skin was actually starting to burn from the looks Denise was giving me.

As our wheelchair handlers pushed us along to elevator, my guy said that I probably shouldn't have said anything. "She should have let it go, though," he said, referring to the lady with the clipboard. "She's pretty new. Someone else probably would have let it pass."

Please kill me.

We were taken in an elevator down to the basement level, which was basically empty, except for some medical personnel. They explained that they had to do the PCR test on each of us, and we would have to wait 45 minutes for the results.

They tested me first, 10 times around each nostril. Then they wheeled me into a large, empty room with a bunch of chairs and one woman working the desk. Denise followed a few moments later. She wasn't happy.

We'd been told that they'd send the results of our tests to Denise's phone.

A moment later, the woman came over and told us they'd given us the wrong test, and they were going to take us back in to do the antigen test. I pointed out that the one they gave was more thorough, and asked couldn't they just process that one. She said the wait would be longer - 45 minutes vs. 30 minutes. I asked Denise what she wanted to do, and she agreed that we might as well just have them use the tests we'd already taken.

We sat there waiting in the large room, just the two of us. Out of the high windows of the room, we could see the top of our ship. We were tantalizingly close.

I tried to explain to Denise that I hadn't wanted it to be like the end of the original The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.

The woman with the clipboard: Have you had any symptoms?

Me: No!

The woman with the clipboard: Ok, you can just go thr...

Me: Achoo! 

And suddenly I'm looking into the deadpan face of Walter Matthau.

Denise was having none of it. 

It was a harrowing 45-50 minutes sitting there in that empty room and waiting. I didn't expect the tests to be anything but negative, but you never knew for sure. And I couldn't imagine what it be like if Denise got this close to her ship, only to get turned away at the last moment because of me. Or rather, I could imagine it. And it wasn't pretty.

As we waited, I nervously texted my daughter and told her what I had done. She texted me back a one-word response: "Oof!"

After it had been more than 45 minutes with no results on Denise's phone, the worker in the room left for a moment. When she came back, blessedly, she had the results of both of our COVID tests. They were negative! Thank God!

From there, things only took a few minutes more. Our wheelchair handlers came back and got us through the rest of the check-in. They handed us off to the handlers who actually pushed us over the gangplank and onto the ship.

We had made it! Our 80s Cruise adventure had finally officially begun.

SO that's where I'll leave it for tonight. My life had passed before my eyes, but thankfully, my big mouth hadn't ruined everything.

Later in the week, I'll tell you all about how the cruise is going. Until then, be good to one another!

Prog Contest 2022: Round 1, Match 2 Results

 Posting from the high seas today. (And I'll have more to say about that in a day or so.)

This was another exciting, come from behind win. Here's what I had to say:

Mmm. After first listen, these are two savory morsels. The first is more manic, the second more laid back.

I almost feel like Sisare has a psychedelic rock feel to it.

For some reason, maybe because the vocalist is so wacky, Novela makes me think of Focus.

I'm on my third listen right now, and I think I'm going to need a fourth to make a decision. 

I feel like Novela's album is more exciting, and they perhaps have the better songs. On the other hand, I like Sisare's overall sound better, and they have no real minuses, whereas Novela's vocalist is a slight negative. Two very good albums make for a very tough choice.

Maybe I'm wrong about the songs.

Finally, when it came time to vote:

This is one of those cases where I'm sorry that we're going to lose either of these albums. My vote is for Sisare, although I suspect where many of the bands I vote for in future rounds are bands I won't like as much as Novela.

In the end, as kinetic and fun as the Novela LP is, the Sisare really grew on me. I love some of the guitar stuff going on in songs like Geno, and I liked the psychedelic element to their music. I didn't hate the Novela vocalist, but there were times where I felt his vocals were the weak link in their songs. The vocals for Sisare were much smoother.

So as I said, my vote goes to Sisare.

As it turned out, though, while Sisare went out to an early 5-1 lead, Novela came roaring back.

Final Result: Novela 11 votes, Sisare 8 votes.

Sadly, I don't think I'll be able to vote in Match 3, because as I said, I'm out at sea right now on the 80s Cruise. And while I do have internet, I don't have streaming services.

I'll let you know about that later in the week. But next up, I'll start reporting on the cruise. Peace out.